neurotic conformist

2011-03-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

So i just needed a space where nobody knows to vent my pent up frustration on all the shit that's going on around me recently. This blog's so ancient it hurts. I guess it's pretty much forgotten.
So yeah, you know how sometimes it's just so bloody obvious how you feel for a particular someone but that person still acts or is seemingly oblivious despite your best efforts? I mean do you really need me to tell you in the face how much im beginning to fall for you? People ask me why it's different this time. It just is. With you, i don't see the need to look at other guys, im pretty much satisfied and accepting about your shortcomings, at least the ones i know about currently and the feeling's just, different. But i guess you're just way too preoccupied with your own life to see how much im trying to get to know you. To see how much im trying.
Trying.
I don't really know what to say anymore, it's just that you're becoming so much to me, too much for my own good, and way more than i wuld like you to be. But i honestly don't think i actully mean anything to you. I don't have to be anyone special, just show that you care about me sometimes, can't you? Just a simple "how are you?" or even just a "hi" would mean so much to me. I know i sound like a desperate bitch but i don't really give a shit anymore. Sometimes your actions really cut me down pretty bad, i wish you knew. There are just way too many things i wish you knew. So many. How much i like you, how i want to be someone to you, how much i think about you, how the only reason i fell for you was never because of your physical appearances, how much i like your mysterious aura, how you blow me hot-cold and bring me on an emotionaly roller coaster, how i costantly think about how we met, that day, on that bus, when i finally had the guts to speak to you, the feeling you give me by just speaking to me, how i replay your smile over and over in my head everyday, how that image is still so vivid in my mind even after a week or two of your absence, how much i love the extremely rare times when you smile and are nice and funny, how much i love your smile, how much i love it when your face lights up, how i think im just bloody crazy to like this random guy i met and talked to on a random bus and get so high over him even though it's only been a few weeks since we spoke, how i want you to know how ong i;ve been eyeing you, 2 months? 3months? The list will go on and on and on, and there are so many things i want to tell you that i cant. I hope that someday, you will read me like a book and maybe we will become something more. Words would be unnecessary in our presence because our very presence would mean and speak so much more. I just hope that someday you will find out how i really feel. My heart's given away, to a hopeless romantic that i so happen to like so very much. Do you know? Can you know? Will you ever know? Questions plague me endlessly, till then, bye.

xoxo.

It's a refreshing change to be back here after so many years. I honestly don't know what bunch of crap i've just written, my mind's hazy. But it feels nice to know there will always be this space for me to vent. I dont know how much longer it'll be around for though.

2009-06-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

check it out. sceptichysteria.livejournal.com . Not moved just managing two.

2009-06-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

i'm seriously considering moving on to livejournal against all my talk about changing links.opinions?

2009-05-07T02:25:00.000-07:00

"Are you cold?" Easy asked when the two of them were sitting on top of the bluffs, overlooking the slow moving Hudson. The sky was lightening to smoky gray, and Easy wanted to watch the sun rise. He put his arm around her shoulders.
The it girl series,Notorious by Cecily Von Ziegesar

I missed having someone to ask if i was cold.I missed having someone sitting with me to watch the sun rise.I missed the feel of someone's arms around me.I missed everything about you.But that has passed."Newfangled" life, "newfangled" mentalities. But deep inside, i know--that i'll never be as insouciant as i was.Never.It's really enigmatic.How i can feel this way.I learnt that copping out of problems is not a way of facing the demons that lie deep within us.Copping out of problems is not a way either.I can't say that i don't feel the knife stabbing at the ebbing pain in my heart whenever i think back.It still hurts.But i'll just have to repress my feelings.Because there's nothing i can do.I doubt there is anything you can do either.But most importantly,i've learnt, the hard and slow way,to let go.No matter how painful it is.The best thing you can do in certain situations where you're in a crossroad,is let go.It's the best for both parties.I don't deny that my world slowly and painfully came crashing down on me when i heard from you.The lights in my world were instinctively cut off.Just one bulb causing the rest to shut off.Pitch black.The mystical eden we shared was doomed.I knew it.But did not face it.But letting go is the only solution.I did not want the end to come.You did not either.But we were forced and there's nothing we can do but leave a special place and mark in each other's hearts and move on.I used to think i did not deserve you.Inferiority.And maybe as a result i did not treasure you.But all that was in the past.I will forgive and forget and move on.Forget the "fuck this shit" attitude and get a positive outlook in life--a little impertinent to my point?i know.But i've come out of this a stronger person and more matured.I have someone with me to help me confront my problems and he is lovely and sweet.I no longer miss having someone to hold,someone to talk to that much anymore.I hope you are okay and don't worry about me.

2009-05-02T05:50:00.000-07:00

Though this matter has blown over,i still fight back the tears that sting my eyes and wet my face when i think about what could have been.You chose this path.It was not what you wanted.Not what i wanted.We were forced.But i've found my hero.Someone who helps my pain dissolve into happiness.It's heaven.My current status:lost girl with a hero.I can say that i've forgotten 9-10 month of feelings that i had for you.But the freindship-it's something that i'll never forget.It was wonderful.I cant say that im a conformist in the area where relationships are concerned.I have my opinions.I have to thank all my volleyball teammates,my good friends,bestfriends and all who have showed concern for me when i was down.You guys really helped me pull myself together.Thanks for the tags and letters wrote to me.Looking at you guys' "enthusiastic-ness" i really told myself i had to pull myself together.Thank you guys:DI LOVE YOU!Im okay already.Quoting what i told my current,'Relationships are just merely a part of growing up.They are meant to help you grow and mature and c ome out of each one a stronger indivual.'What he replied struck me.'A relationship is like....a bad one will destroy you and a good one will mould and make you.'I cant exactly remember what he said exactly.but it really struck me.He also played a major part in helping me pick myself up.Thanks to him too.Oh and to this important guy,HAPPY 15th!!Just wanna let him know that 'You're special to me.You hold a special place in my heart.You're special in God's and everyone's eyes.Thanks so much for all you've done for me.'I've picked myself up and moved on.Its joy.But if you still wanna be my friend im always open.I'll never close the door on someone who has left me with so many memories.good and bad.You've helped me to mature and grow into a new individual and im grateful.But i think that its time for both me and you to move on.If i have moved on thought im still bitter in my heart you must too yeah?Okay so now we've both moved on,we'll hold our memories close to our hearts and leave a special place in each other's hearts okay.The end had to come anyway.I hope that you're doing fine cuz i am too.I have found someone i love and i hope you have too.Thanks for everything.I hope we can still be friends.

2009-04-09T03:16:00.000-07:00

What the heck is so wrong with me?These few weeks.I have been thinking alot about you.I just made a realiosation that i was blankly staring into space as i think of you.I really miss having such a good friend to talk and confide in.I still have not gotten over you.Its torturing me.I lie on my bed missing the familiar chats we had,the sound of your comforting voice and thinking of you.I used to have you to calm me down and comfort me after a bad day and someone who i could actually talk to without restrictions.Someone to share my happy and sad moments with me.Bt its all gone.Gone.I Really wish you could come back to me.Tears are still unevitable.Thinking of you hurts.It hurts so so much.But,damn,i cant stop.I cant find the words that i want to say.I remember when i would get high on the phone with you.Maybe you did not know but i was actually tripping over my words.You are just so beautiful.Too beautiful.I really miss you brightening up my day.Shit.Why do these fucking tears just keep flowing.Aren't they tired?I am.Bitch.Im crying again.Im shattered.Still.If you think i have gotten over you,i'll let you know that no,i have not.Its darned painful.Okay so maybe i hide my emotions well.But im scared.Scared of being alone.Loneliness will make me think.Think of you.Your perfection...everything about you.Scared of being without you.Scared that now i have to face all my problems on my own without you.Im scared.Cant you see?I need your embrace me.Your familiar warmth and comfort.I really need your embrace when my tears are flowing.Wipe them away.You sweep me off my feet.I Love you.Come back to me.Please.I miss you.

2009-03-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

Do you really want this?Is this the outcome you wanted?If so,very well.I cant seem to sleep and im practically killing myself by overworking myself.Getting sent to detention at the RC.These questions keep bitching at me.So much till i cant sleep.Help me.You're killing me.Its already 1.30 and im really....Its so sudden.too sudden.Must this really end here.My heart cant seem to let go though my mind tells it to do so.I cant let go.Face it.Live with it.I love you too much.Please.just contact me one last time.one.last.time.These things are really begginning to bitch at me all day.My moods making me become a bitch.hell.NO.i have to stop.but how?bitch the things that got me so fucked up.bitch them.Im really tired out.my eyes hurt from all the tears.pi thought that maybe i would have no more tears left.but the pain keeps coming back.tears seem never ending.im really bitched up with eveything going on around me.i really am just so so so broken.Must you torture me like that?Why.My mind is in a whirl.i cant seem to think straight.there's this empty pit in my stomach that i cant seem to get out.its painful.It will take me a long time to heal.But for now i still wont give up.I dont think its worth it.Till circumstances force me to.Which i can guarantee will not be soon.Love is blind.You can say im mad.you can say im a bitch.you can say anything but its a fact that im in great pain now and i cant forget you somehow.Please.come back to me.i need you.

baby i will wait for you.....

2009-03-22T04:12:00.000-07:00

Lyrics:
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

Bridge]
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

Verse 2]
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me,
your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

[Bridge]
Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

Bridge]So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be
Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do

[Chorus]
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
I'll Be Waiting

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skW73hM9lf0

No words are needed from me.Its all said here.No matter what i have to do i'll wait for you..... Its really apalling that there is a song that expresses the words that im struggling to expres and the feeling anf thoughts that im struggling so hard with...I.MISS.YOU.

2009-03-20T20:04:00.000-07:00

If this is what you wanted.To carry on happily with your own life as you said without me.I will respect your desicion.I really dont know if it was really you who said it.But if it was,then i sure hope that you are living your life happily now that im gone.At least i will stop worrying.But just know that i will not give up.It's not that i dont want.But the fact that i cant.You're invading my heart and my mind.But if this is what you want,then okay.I just want you to be happy wherever you are.I just feel that this relationship and friendship in itself is wasted.It came to an abrupt halt that brought my world crashing down on me and the lights in it all being instinctively cut off.All that it took was for you to send me one message.Somehow i still find it hard to believe that itwas you who sent it.I have my suspicions.Which i will not voice out.Everything seems to be weighing down on me.Especially now when im loaded with nschoolwork.It feels as if a huge burden has been put on me.But i believe that i will be able to overcome it.But i will need your help.What can i do to make you understand?Thats the least you could do.Understand.But regardless of these i am willing to wait.Through my flowing tears,i am shattered and bleeding.Nut the least i can do is try to pull myself together.I really hope that this will not mark the end of the beautiful time i spent with you.I just wanna let you know that i've learnt to treasure our friendship.Im sorry if i took it for granted in the past.

"i keep waiting for you but you never seem to come...i will hold on...all i have left is shattered memories.i cant possibly give you up.i cant bear to.it hurts too much.but i will pull myself together...i promise you.."

2009-03-19T02:02:00.000-07:00

[LYRICS]
Baby, I stay in love with you

Dying inside cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

If you dont know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's no mistaking
We're just erasing
From our hearts and minds
And I know

we said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like
"Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby I stay in love with you

Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na

Baby, I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gon' act Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now

Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone

Now go I know
We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like
"Oh well"Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you Now
no matter what I do
Baby, baby I stay in love with you

We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you
Now no matter what I do
But baby, baby I stay in love with you

I stay in love
Love
Oh, I stay in love.

2009-03-19T00:57:00.000-07:00

Having regrets is pointless and useless.I know.But i cant help it.I regret not treasuring the time i had with you,the conversations we had,the comfort you gave me,the fun i had with you,the familiar sound of your voice,your personality...Everything about you.But the biggest regret is not treasuring you.I took all these for granted.These weeks have been fucking hell for me.Please come back into my life.I know it's painful for you too.Im sorry for asking so much from you.It's just that every minute thing and detail from every aspect reminds me of you.Im helpless and hopeless.Dead and gone.Torn and broken.Bleeding and shattered.What can i do?Nothing.Im trying to distract myself.But im failing.Failing miserably.Am i just being pathetic?I think so.But i really cant do anything about it except for TRY to pull myself together and deal with my own feelings as i promised my friends and you.Trying is probably an overstatement.Im forcing myself to laugh.Its probably doing me a pathetic favour.Come back to me.I need you.I miss you.

2009-03-18T08:10:00.000-07:00

We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;
Little did I know

That you were Romeo;
you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said,"Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,begging you,
'Please, don't go.'
And I said,

"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes;
escape this town for a little while.

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me;
I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'
And I said,

"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
Romeo save me;
they're tryin' to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Oh.I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said,

"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think-
"He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet.
you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Oh, oh.We were both young when I first saw you......

2009-03-17T08:38:00.000-07:00

Must it really be so painful.I dont know if it is for you,but it is for me.More painful than you can imagine.Breaking down becomes the only solution.My heart is shatterd into a million pieces.A million pieces that you and no one but you can ever piece back together.Somehow tears are just flowing freely.Aren't they ever tired of flowing?I dont think so.Its very painful.Do you know?Do you know how painful this reality actually is?I wish i could just wake up and say this is all a bad dream.I really dont wanna face up to reality and wish i could just hide.Call me a coward if you want.I cant care anymore.However,im forced to face up to the truth.The horrid truth.The bloody truth that i really wish i had never known.Maybe it was my mistake.Oh,I really dont know anymore.I dont wanna know.It will be one more crappy fact that i would have to face up to.But since i've promised you that i would deal with my own feelings,i guess i will have to.But let's get this straight.It's fucking difficult okay.I just made the realisation that this is the first time that i actually dont beieve that "time heals a broken heart".It's so totally not true with you.I did not want this end to come.I dont want this end to come.I never want this end to come.But it has come.These words look plain,bleak and cold on my screen staring back straight at me.I swear.I will breakdown sometime soon.I wish i was stronger.But i cant help it.This really sucks.I mean...i was glad to know that you wont give up.Neither will I.But still i cant help crying.It's the only thing that makes sense currently.My heart is practically shattered and bleeding.I keep telling myself "face it girl.Be strong.keep smiling as your friends tell you to." but i keep breaking down.Reality is too harsh.To harsh for me to take.I really wish i could talk to you.But face it,i cant.And i hate that fact.I really wish i could still hold out a strong front infront of you.But i cant keep it up anymore.Im really sorry.It hurts too much.I miss you.I really miss you.The only time that im able to pull myself together before snapping is when im with my friends.But its all just a front.A bloody front that have to put up.But im just weak and strengthless inside.My bestfriend,comfort,confidante,shelter and more is suddenly missing.It's like a part of my everyday life is missing,lost and gone.I feel lost.I need you back in my life.Baby,I need you back in my life.I cant hold out much longer.Help me.Im sorry if im asking too much of you.But all i want is you.Your familiar voice.Your familiar company.Your familiar care and gentleness.Your familiar comfort.All the love be it as a friend or more than that that you give.I really want to say thank you for all the love and warmth that you give me.Love as a friend,a best friend or a more than that,i enjoyed it all.It's been nine months,coming ten.Really whizzed past.No matter what happens i will always remember you.As my best and closest friend or more.And just to let you know.Regarding what i told your sister about just now, I won't give up.I don plan on giving up.I dont wanna give up.I wish i will never give up.I hope that these are your sentiments too.I wont forget you or give up on you as someone more than a friend.I hope you wont too.Seriously.I dont know why but im hopelessly mad over you.I.Miss.You...Going to sleep at 12.25am with thoughts of you whirling around in my mind.I really cant say if i will break down and cry to sleep.But i will try my best not to okay.I will try to pull myself together for your sake.I know you hate to see me like that.Im sorry.

2009-03-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

How much of your teenage life have you messed up?TAG 5 FRIENDS; REMEMBER TO TAG THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU!
-Charmaine
-Angie
-farizan
-farah
-Alicia

[ ] Gotten detention.
[ ] Gotten your phone taken away in class.(got caught but din confis.But using hp in class is addictive to me)
[ ] Gotten suspended.(nearly cans...lol)
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum.(Din get caught.but i eat in class like almost everyday)
[ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test.(if its like spelling test tt type..obviously but major test then no)

Total : 0 (but get this straight,im not guai kaes.only never kena caught..hahahs:D)

[x] Arrived late to class more than 5 times(last year)
[x] Didn’t do homework over 5 times.(over a long period of time,yes.consecutively,no...)
[ ] Turned at least 3 projects in late(i can swear this year will be more than tt..only havent tried yet)
[ ] Missed school cause you felt like it.(nopes i won pon school cuz i will miss my Angie!!)
[x] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class(i forgot but juz say yes cuz i got scolding for laughing countless no. of times alr..but kick outta class arh..obviously have..a few times alr last yr)

.Total : 3

[x] Got your mom / dad etc. to get you out of school.(dude,i was sick and vomitting)
[x] Texted people during class. (duh..i got caught cuz i use when im right infront of teacher)
[x] Passed notes.(duh)
[x]Threw stuff across the room.(lol then teacher buay song but cmon i neede to pass my friend smthn larhs)
[x] Laughed at the teacher.(yeahs..we talk alot of cock in class abt teacher then laugh damn loud)

Total : 5

[ ] Pulled down the fire alarm(err thats like..retarded)
[x] Went on myspace , facebook , xanga , etc. on the computer at school.(dunno..forgot but blog i everytime without fail will go wan)
[x] Took pictures during school hours(think so..in th toilet i think..zzz)
[x] Called someone during school hours.(recess lorh..call mum..)
[ ] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc. during class(but in between classes have..when no teacher then on music loudloud)

Total : 3

[x] Gotten a call from school.(my mum got it cuz my attitude in school was screwed like hell cuz i got into bad company)
[ ] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.(err i'd be glad to give it a miss if it is some retarded feild trip..but if interesting then i not happy with teacher)
[x] Didn’t take your stuff to school.(duh!then teacher nagnag lorh)
[ ] Gotten a detention and didn't go.(didn get detention before..zzz..my school did not have detention unless attitude is like DARN BLOODY bad..i always narrowly escape dtention cans..xD)
[x] Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.(duh)
[x] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear.(i dunno if she heard but it was meant for her to hear it..but i curse at teachers all the time)

Total : 4

[ ] Faked your parents signature(dont give a damn to do this type of thing and risk kena nagged down by teacher..not worth it)
[x]slept in class.(duh..already more than twice or thrice alr)
[x] Cursed at a teacher to their face.(risk getting expelled..not worth it..but i got caught cuz tis guy told on me then the fucking teacher force me to repeat what i said so i had to say FUCK infront of her..is that counted..i was forced..nearly go see principal)
[x] Copied homework.(common in pri sch..so sian..everydae hmwk..so WTBFH lorh)

Total : 2

All total : 17

Multiply by 3: 51

I screwed up 51% of my teenage life but i don't give a damn.Enjoy while i can.It's like 2.30am and im still up..im seriously turning into a night retard.Im so sick of my bloody projects.Pls larh common tests are over okat.Get a life and bitch off.Stupid homework.Hahahs but nonetheless, i will still remain optimistic.I'll try to be an optimist from now on...If that is even possible...im optimistic at everything with the exception of homework.Which can be a bloody bitch at times.But life still goes on with or without those pieces of crap.Hurhur.So i must SMILE :D.So tmr i have church so must chiong home to do homework.sigh my time for girlfriends is cut short again.But good news!tomorrow i may be able to get back my phone!!Woots.Which means the poor guy will have to entertain all my shit talks and all the bitchings that occurred in the time i couldn talk to him.Today i was like so bloody pissed lurh.I wanted so badly to sms him but no phone to sms couldn steal sim card as was with dad.Then i couldn call cuz he not free.So i rang up my two of my three bestfriends.Angie and Amirah,I called Angie to complain and say "die larhdielarh" hahahs..ask her what i told her.And i called Ami to do the same thing.Then i had this idea which made her practically become my saviour She helped me sms that guy.Tee hee.Thanks to my brilliant idea.But still...zzzz...i think i missed his reply.Wth.These few days my blog has been far too alive.Hahahs need to cut down.But the temptation of blogging once im at the computer is too strong.I just got hooked recently.My blog is like alive..then dead..than alive then dead again..i think it will remain like that unless my EEYORE(Angie) ask me to post.I will post cuz i love her.She's my lesbo partner and Baklah's brother..How cool is that...Angie!!must comment alot horh..i will try insert cbox kays?then you girlgirl can flood my tagbox.And if im huihui then you are lingling...LOL..sounds so foreign to the ears.Lol i think one way to improve in lit is to learn how to be more melodramatic.More than i already am.Hahahahs.So i just realised what a pathetic amount of work i have done and what a great deal of blogging i have done.Wow i seriously need to buck up.Tmr will post after i finish all my work.My dad better not take the darned computer.If not i will be cursing under my breath.Like today which was screwed up.except for the ending cuz i got to meet the mother at white sands.Hurhur.So now its exactly 2.30am and i'd better get some sleep.So goodnight everything.Hola dreams.They'd better be sweet.But i've been thinking a hell load about the boy since just now.And now,im literally obsessed.Damn.I'd better sleep soon before i become overwhelmed.At least dreaming is better than forcing youself to do work while your brain is crammed up with thoughts of a wonderful guy whom you are obsessed with.So to my good friends im just joking around with all my guy crazy crap kaes?i already have someone..all i say is just passing remark.But you should know who this guy is..only if you are Angie Lau Guan Ling or Nur Amirah or Nur Farizan..but farizan i dunno if she knows..hahahs..they are the first peoples i go to when im in trouble or happy or sad..not forgetting that guy too:D..share weal and woe..loe and behold!i have finally settled down into a group of friends.Amazing huh?hahah but its not a big feat.Still i have to thank God for giving me sucj good friends.And i have to thank my frined namely Angie Ami Farizan Sharifah Farah for being such a fabulous group of friends to me.Especially angie farizan and ami for the bus rides home together and not to forget that guy for being my bestfriend my comfort my listening ear my anger venting place(LOL?) my confidante and other more complicated things to me..i cant name them out here but if you are keen to know then ask me.(only applies to him i wont answer if anyone else asks)I LOVE YOU GUYS FOREVER:D:D:DKeep smiling babes & hunks:D:D..(i will end with an emo paragraph)

I signed off at 2.53am..latest ever..but im still plagued incessantly with the sweet memories of you.Damn.Im obssesed.What did you that im so darn captured by you.Maybe it's just the fact that love cannot be forced.love is so fucking illogical.I cant stop thinking of you now.I need you.You are my dope...Save me.I'm hooked on you.I love you.

"Romeo save me i've been feeling so alone."

2009-03-06T07:22:00.000-08:00

So i finally updated my darned rusty links.I probably haven't updated them for a year.TeeHee.So today with all the reports and essays,my BLOODY teachers slammed another whole pile of work on us and even like SHORTENED the deadline,with the exception of art which was increased instead..Fffff man.Which means i will have to coop myself up at home again tomorrow trying to rush out my math project learning report on statistical matters(blah!) and the first draft of the project.Still have a lit 3-5 page essay to type.Still have geography performance task and have to do research and update the bloody website created by Mdm Tan.Still have the fucking IPW proposal to write out.Since i'm the group leader i have to make the calls also.Hand to Mrs Koh by Mon when she sees all group leaders.And still have my art mood board to do.I havent even started.Damn.And still have to do our research for math task.By the way,my math teacher(Kung Fu Panda) MSN and email address are like,weird.We were like laughing non stop.Sigh nowadays i've been sleeping late and just like changing my lifestyle.God,darnit my phone is still confiscated and i am still grounded.It's so what the bloody...zzzzzzz.So today in training we finally did spiking and blocking.but my blocking sucks while at least today i got my timing right for most of the spikes.Hurhur.But i didn hit my palm.End up hit my stupid fingers.Hahahs but that's fine.Must slowly correct all my bad habits.So finally my blog is alive again.I just realised that i haven't changed my blog in three years and i don't plan to.It will be easier for my friends to locate my blog if i don't keep relinking.And i hate deleting blogs.It's like all my journal is gone.I mean cmon having a blog is like your journal of your life.Deleting it or keep relinking defeats the whole purpose.Hahahs.And don ask why i don't have a tagbox or a blogskin.I prefer this template cuz it's like,plain and not too bad and i deleted my tagbox by accident manymany time while changing blogskin so i juz gave up on both.So that explains things people.Hahah...i'm drained from blowing my nose.And i feel like sleeping.Hahahs but juz wanna say a big thanks to Angie and Farizan for the bus ride home with me.Hahahs at least i was talking alot,lk my usual self.And poor baklah(farah) haha wait for her sis alone in school.Hahahs but hope you didn't wait too long.Oh yeah and to Jolynn who fell during NPCC wish you a speedy recovery.Must take cares yeah?Don't let it get infection.Heard that it was quite bad and you went home early so couldn mrt and bus with us.Hahahs but it's okay.Take cares.This morning was like weird.I got off at potong pasir and then turn right.Unfortunately,that was where all the st andrew jc and sec people were.but then again it was also the nearest escalator.Then its like a sea of white and navy blue then suddenly blue and yellow and grey uniform people inbetween.So it was comforting to have cedarians with me.lol the felling is seriously weird.But a few of the saints guys are kinda cute.Hahahs but this is just a passing remark.Hahah im not interested in them(alr have many things to think about).heehee.I finally got my new blouse today.i bought size 42 so that can tuck out more without like folding the shirt.Gees at least im honoring my school.HAHAH.So i was a little sad that the boy couldn't call or online today but it's okay boy.Don't feel bad kaes.im alright:D.Lol sorry for flooding your facebook.TeeHeeHee.Hope my phone gets back to me faster.If not my mind will be even more flooded than it already is.Hahahs i reallly miss the chats we had throught the day.At least i have a confidante.Haha when im angry my mood is like super bad and yet he still can stand.Amazing!Hahahahah...But yeah i really must thank him for being so extremely nice to me since the day i knew him till now.It's really nice knowing someone so nice and caring.I just realised that my posts are getting increasingly longer by day.So i'd better end off here before my blog is overwhelmed(?!?! it's not human).Hahah but im gonna say good night to the world with sweet memories of him and all my friends in my mind as i fall into a peaceful sleep and leave all my troubles and stress behind me.So,Goodnight world.Hoping that tomorrow will be a better day for me.I love the feeling of the sweet memories in my head now.Those of him are the ones making me high and dizzy.And those of my frens are sweet.I.L.O.V.E.Y.O.U.A.N.D.Y.O.U.A.N.D.Y.O.U.A.N.D.Y.O.U.A.N.D.Y.O.U.A.N.D.H.I.M...

It's been about a year now.Ain't seen or heard from you.I been missin' you crazy.How do you sleep?how do you sleep?I found the letter you wrote me.It still smells just like you.Damn those sweet memories.How do you how do you sleep?I can't sleep.If its without memories of you then ita a dark and fitful sleep...Thanks for all these times for me to reminiscise..i love you..

2009-03-05T04:45:00.000-08:00

GENERAL .
Do you get along better with girls or boys?
Both.But i confide in a guy and amirah.

Do you wish you had more girl friends?
Yeah!!Then i can have more girls' night out!!hurhur...

Do you wish you had more boy friends?
Yeah.Hurur...Then i can have more friends to talk to and play with.Guys are more fun to play around with.

Do you sometimes befriend people because you’re attracted to them?
Not for girls.I make friends with every girl who wants to be my friend.for guys.Also no.But for my current,i made friends for fun but ended up falling for him and till now.Meaning it's my 9th month.Hahahs.

Have you ever been stabbed in the back by a friend?
Yeah.But i can forgive her.

Have you ever been the backstabber?
I don't know.But if i have then im really sorry to the person.I hope there are no hard feelings.

2009-03-05T04:14:00.000-08:00

Rules:It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag twenty people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real,nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You also cannot used any word twice and cannot used your name for theboy/girl name question.

1. What is your name : Si Hui
2. A four Letter Word : Suck
3. A boy's name: Sze Yuen
4. A girl's Name : Siti.
5. An occupation : Singer.
6. A color : Silver.
7. Something you'll wear : Shoes.
9. A food : Shit.Lol joking.err.Satay.
10. Something found in the bathroom: Soap.
11. A place : Sydney
12. A reason for being late : 'Shit.The darned bus was late'.
13. Something you'd shout : shitass!
14. A movie title : Superman(lol.His underwear ia outside.How cool is that?).
15. Something you drink : Scotch!!(it's alchoholic.Will make me HIGH!!:D)or maybe sprite also.
16. A musical group : Singapore symphonic ochestra(hey,im a classic girl).
17. An animal : Skunk.
18. A street name : Sy George's road.(My dad's name!!)
19. A type of car : Salooon cars.
20. The title of a song : Superhuman(tis song is like darn nice).

2009-03-05T03:22:00.000-08:00

.bsName 3 males:
-Daryl
-Danny
-Benjamin

How many of them are family?
None.Lol.

Are any of them crushes?
Yup.Only one.Not 2 or wdev.

How many of them are exes?
None.

Are any of them single?
Err.yupps.Dan i think.The rest is i dunno or dun wna say.

Are any of them gay?
NO.I'm repulsed by homosexualism.It's sickening.

Are any of them younger than you?
No.I'm the youngest.All are older...

Who’s the tallest?
Either Benjamin or Danny.But i think Benjamin.175 leahs.

Who’s the smartest?
Dunno.All their schools are around same standard.Catholic high,St Andrews,Chung Cheng High Main.(not in order.I'm not naming who from where.)

Who’s the oldest?
Daryl.He's sec 3.The rest sec 2 and 1.

Who’s the most talkative?
Err.Dunno lurh.But i like talking to all of them.Nice people.

Who’s the most sensitive?
Daryl,i think.He cares about people's feelings.

Who’s the most relaxed?
Err...in what sense?

Who’s the biggest player?
player?o.O...define player.

Who drinks the most?
They are all underage.But i'm considering inviting them to try out cocktails,scotch or whisky when im of age..tee hee

Can any of them drive?
Nopes.All underage too.But i'll ask one of them to be my chaffeur..JOKING..i will learn how to drive MYSELF..

Can any of them dance?
Dunno.Maybe i should invite them clubbing with me someday.Then i'll find out.

Can any of them sing?
Lol..tis wan..have to invite them to karaoke..zzzzzzzz...hurhurhur...

Can any of them hold conversation?
Yes.They all are nice to talk to.Hahah but i like talking to one more often...

Have you ever kissed any of them?
No but im considering trying with ONE of them.Hahah...that's with his consent..must go ask him..hahah..im seriously outta my mind..im guessing it will be sensual..haha im sick..zzzzz

Have you ever cuddled any of them?
No but im also considering trying with the same person im considering kissing...lol...must also ask first..But im guessing it will be cool

Have you ever argued with any of them?
Yeahs.Danny.But we are still good friends in the end.The rest are older then me so they treat me better..

Have you ever had a fight with any of them really?
Nopes.I will lose.They all are sports guys.Lol.Basketball,waterpolo,volleyball..what you think huh?I will get bashed up till im like...lol...

Have you ever seen any of them cry?
nopes.But there's nthn wrong with a guy crying.It's normal.Guys also have feelings.

Have you ever seen any of them bleed?
Yeah.Danny.He fell during basketball then bleed.

Have you ever seen any of them drunk?
No.but i'll try getting one of them drunk someday.

Have you ever seen any of them high?
No.Maybe Danny...lol..

Have any of them ever made you jealous?
Dunno.But maybe Daryl.HAHAH just kidding.i trust that none of them are so bastardly.

Are there any of them you would swap for a celebrity?
Nopes.But if i HAD to then it will be Jesse McCartney and Martin Johnson!!!Hahah..but there's one guy in here that i wouldn trade no matter what..hahahs

Credits:Simone(Fashionbrat)

2009-03-04T06:48:00.000-08:00

A-Amirah
B-Bryan Wong
C-Charmaine
D-Daryl
E-Esther
F-Farizan
G-Gu Ting
H-Han Zhi Kwang Danny
I- Dunno lurhs..zzz..
J-Jin-an
K-Khai wen
L-Lim Ying Sheng Derrick
M-Melissa(Volleyball)
N-Nicholas Loh
P-Pavithra
Q-Quek Jin Hao Nicholas
R-Randall
S-Sze Yuen
T-Tiffany
U-Um..Dunno?hurhur.
V- Vivian
W-Wei Jie
X-Xin Ying
Y-Yulian
Z-Zenly
2) Can R and S be together in BGR?
(Randall & Sze Yuen)NO!!They were best frens in pri school...Both my good friends..BOTH GUYS..They have their own crushes..won turn gay for sure..hahah

3)How is L related to you?
(Lim Ying Sheng Derrick)Err..the irritating guy who used to sit infront of me..buuut he's fun to disturb cuz of his height..hahas but no hard feelings yeah..

4)Does Y know Z?
(Yulian & Zenly)They probably have not even heard of each others names before..lol

5)If C betrays you will you kill him/her?
(Charmaine)No.She won betray me.Even if she does, i will forgive her.She's my super senior!!

6)If K steals your boyfriend, what will you do?
(Khai Wen)She doesn't even know my boyf..lols..but if she does steal then let them be together lorh..everyone has their right to love..if they're happy,i will be too..

7) What if B tells you he/she have a crush on you?
(Bryan Wong)Err tell him that im already taken and im unavailable and to please give up..hurhurhur..

8) Will you and M get into a fight?
(melissa)Err most probably no..we get along pretty well in volleyball..She's darn fun anyway..MEOW POWER!!hahas(volley insider joke)

9) Who does K have a crush on?
(Khai Wen)She says no one but i don believe her...

10) If L calls you a bitch what will you do?
(Lim Ying Sheng Derrick)Urm hellos he has called me that alot of times in my whole p6 life alr...juz scold back or laugh it off with the guys lorh..

11) What's the relationship between you and E?
(Esther)She is my primary school band junior..Haha she's fun..

12) Who does Z like?
(Zenly)I dunno but i think she will say no one..zzzzzzz...i don believe..will have like at least like someone abit wan..

13) Who is I's best friend?
(?)Can't think of anyone whose name starts with I currently..haha im down with the flu..brain cells affected..lol

14) What colour does Y like?
(Yulian)Dunno..but she's a simple..err girl..17 or 18 yr old still girl??

15) Where does F live?
(Farizan)Opp Angie aka AKJ..They live like super near me..I mean SUPER like can walk or take bus lorh...so cool horh..heehee..

16) Did you and C had a fight before?
(Charmaine)No she's very nice to me..haha i share secrets with her..

17) Who is H's best friend?
(Han Zhi Kwang Danny)Used to be the group of guys i hang around with Randall,Johann,Sze Yuen..and guys fm other class..hahah but now arh...dunno..

18)What can you say about T?
(Tiffany)HAHA..tis girl likes to make fun of me and keep saying i have boyf..lol but no fair..her bro fm saints..damnit lorh..She's a super cool friend to have whether in or outside church..oh yeah she's a FABULOUS netballer..ex st marg now nanyang girl..So smart..hahah..

19)What if J tells you he/she has a crush on you?
(Jin-An)Confirm he wont cuz he alr like carol(my pri sch bestfriend for 3 years) for 6 years..this year alr 7th year..and he is still as true to her as ever..But if he does like me(which is impossible) then i will tell him that im alr taken and im unavailable and to juz give up..

20) Tag 10 people to do this quiz:
Err im not tagging anyone...feel free to copy..

Blog post:
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...im down with the flu..It sucks man..haha but at least my life is improving..i got A1 for my Geog!!...MIRACLE..but still...couldn talk to him...sian like hell..im so used to telling him everythin everyday...haha but at least today have volley then caould talk to charmaine..haha but still my spiking timing sucks..okay it's like SUPER late now..so Good night world...

Everytime i see you i run out of words to say..You're perfect..i love you..

2009-03-02T06:10:00.000-08:00

randomness is me now.I'm still up slckin when im supposed to be doing a compo and revising for my lit.I swear.I'm gonna turn into a night person.Still need to mug for lit.How bloody shitty pathetic is that?Darn life is so bitched up today.Got scolding from teacher.Geog test most probably will fail.Training sucked.Couldn get ANYTHING right.im so disappointed in my spiking.Couldn get my freakin timing right,even throwing the ball for the setter to set was a problem.I was like cursing and swearing silently in my heart at myself.Whats more today,i didn't have my best friend,comfort,strength and my ......... to talk to.It was like hell of a torture.So i decided to steal my sim card when my dad wasn in and was like flooding that poor guys message inbox all at once. As i was showering, the phone rang. Wondering who it was,i decided to give the guy a call.Lol.that was the best damn thing that i could have ever done.He happened to be free at that time and we got to talk for like 5 mins.Not that long,but enough to make me feel tonstonstons better.Thanks to you if you're reading this...Haha i probably didn't tell you about my volleyball supermisfortunes just now hahah.And im so gonna fail my bloody geog test.Bitch it.and my history also.Crap it.I'm practically gonna fail all my test except maybe my science and eng.My fucking higher chinese i got 55.5.Meaning in other shitty words,i got a C5.Hell right?!?!damn it.But i don't expect myself to be getting A1s for my first test.that would turn me from a sane person to an insane one.Which the possibilities of that happening veryvery high if i have to live without that guy for 3-6 months.One week is already living hell.Hurhur.I agree that life is such a bloody bitch sometimes.I'm feeling so fucked up evertime i look at my compo.Shitass idiot.I really need to be more self motivated and disciplined.Though these two words are bastardly pieces of crap,i still need them to get into my dream school.Which is VJC.Duh.That school rocks.Their volleyball is like POWER.After all my high talk.I realise that inside im still having that emptiness in me.It feels like a part of my everyday life is missing without that ......... of mine.But since i cant do anything about my shitty situation, i'll just have to cope with it.Bitch it.But how?It's like i find myself when i am talking to him and with him.It's like...words can't express it...It's like my life that i found you.The only thing that i don't find is a bitch today.Everything was like a bitched up bloody shitass.Every fucking micfortune.My misuse of language is probably brought on by the fact that these few days have been going all wrong for me.And i have to live through it without you.I actually broke down last night.I mean, it's like every bitchy thing that happens to me is a misfortune.A fight.Then a melodramatic showdown.Then me getting grounded.Then failing tests.Then sleeping in class.Then getting scolded by teacher.Then my severe lack of volleyball "sense" which resulted in me frustrating myself and my seniors.How bloody bitchy is that.Okay so im gonna finish up my compo and say goodnight to the world.And hopefully leave everything behind me and tomorrow will be a fresh new day.Hopefully with a little time spent with that wonderful friend of mine.Oh my he is such a dah-ling...Hurhur...Hoping that my fucking shitass bloody problems will juz bitch off by tomorrow as i sign off,do my work and surrender to sleep. I.LOVE.YOU.

2009-03-02T06:02:00.000-08:00

How Do You SleepJesse McCartney
Departure (2008)

Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh
Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep

Tried my best at movin' on
Have yet to find a girl like you
See things now I didn't before
Now wishin' I had more time with you
How do you stay awake
Knowin' all I do is think of you
All the things we fought about
Then never will happen again
If I could just see you
If I had my way come and getcha girl
In your favourite car with the missing top
Remember 'round my way where we used to park
And did all those things to steal your heart

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep

I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep

I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep

Baby all that I hear from my friends
Again again and again compliments 'bout you
They say we saw your girl at the game
And damn we gotta say a big mistake by you
Not only did your body bang
But I miss the conversation too
Tell me that you're gettin' no sleep
Can't think can't eat till I come see you
If I had my way come and getcha girl
In your favourite car with the missing top
Remember 'round my way where we used to park
And did all those things to steal your heart

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep

I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep

Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh
Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep

I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep

I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep
Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh
Category: Music

2009-03-01T03:15:00.000-08:00

Fuck.So i just got my phone confiscated.Cuz i was rude to my mum.That means i'll probably have to live for a week without him.It will be living hell.I will break down.I swear.Not only that.Since my sms is waywaywayway shitty over the fuckin limit,my phone will most likely be confiscated for another three months or maybe half a year.Fuck it man.I'm So gonna die.I feel so damn fucked up now.My herion is taken away from me.I need him.It's just like...dope.Bitch it man.I've been becoming increasingly not mindful of my language these days.Just what the hell is my problem.Bitch.Can they just go away?Stop fucking me up you bloody pieces of crap.Don't mess around with me.Mess with me,then face me.Omg.I swear im gonna snap under the torture of life without him and all my friends.Just what is the problem with me,if i'm the problem?Someone please just tell me.Bitch off.Please.I'm begging you.

2009-03-01T02:02:00.000-08:00

Omg all my homework is starting to get to me.Bitch them.Today finally he is coming back.These days have been living hell.I'm supposed to be doing my shitty homework but i end up fooling around with my comp.Hell man.I got that fucking math task on statistical data and economic growth.To cedarians,it's task four.The hardest.Darn.I haven't even starting mugging for geog.Which is tmr.I'm so in for death.History alr left me emotional and now geog.Bitch me,What the hell am i doing.I need to buck up loads.Can i stop falling asleep on my books when i have hardly started mugging for once?It's like i will wake up and be like "Fuckfuckfuck!My table is in a mess i have not packed my bag and im gonna be late!"During my boring classes,i just give in to the temptation to fall asleep.Bitchbitchbitch me man.This is really getting to me.Fuck.The only thing that actually appeals to me is the fact that school is over and yet another tiring week is coming to an end.So byes.Going to mug my guts out hoping that i dont fall asleep again.If i do,Bitch me once again.I just hope i don't come to a point when i dont give a shit anymore....so anyways..byes..

2009-01-26T00:32:00.000-08:00

I finally experienced the true meaning of school pride...I LOVE CEDAR!!..okay and somehow im happy due to private n confidential reasons..hehehs..Its not CNY btw..for once im actually not bothered by lame things and still very happy..haha..thanks God!!

2009-01-10T09:02:00.000-08:00

okay so im almost confirmed on the cedar volleyball team!!WoOTs!!but somehow HE just came into my life and maybe things between me and you may not be the same."him or HIM??"that's the question stuck in my head.im really fucked up now.I really don't know what to do anymore.I finally realise the agony of feeling caught and torn between my own feelings.It's indescribable.As i stare into space i have made a realisation that maybe its all my fault.I thought i could forget him that easily after 6 months but after that particular day,all this changed.It dawned on me that i hadn't forgotton him at all.Maybe i just overestimated myself.When he talked to me after that long period of absence from each other,i realised that the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder is really true.somehow i was just overwhelmed and i think im back in love with him again.I just can't stop thinking about him.Although we are just best friends now,we were ever more than that before after all.Since we drifted,i have NEVER forgotten him.Somehow he will and still always lingers in my heart no matter how far apart we are.Maybe i just didn't realise but actually i was sub-consciously loving him all this while.Till now.It dawns on me stronger than ever.I feel torn.Confused.Caught.Its a mixture of emotions all mixed together upside down.

"My faith in you was fading
When i met you on the outskirts of town.
I said romeo save me i've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
is this in my head i don't know what to think.....
It's a love story baby just say yes."

I'm just wondering if it's me or is it because of the fact that im secretly crazy in love with you that makes me afraid of commitment?For now just let me have a good nights rest.Goodnoght everything.

WoOTs...

2008-12-28T07:12:00.000-08:00

I seriously don't know why im here posting this when im supposed to be sleeping.Tomorrow ther's this cedar orientation camp second day.The seniors like totally rock!CLASS 1A Rocks!okay maybe its not like so bad so at least i made a new friend on the first day.Big feat huh?myfoot!So today i attended the youth service and found out about the new year countdown at TC.okay so i'll most likely be going.At church i oso received a christmas present from my friend.Its a HP pouch from the wallet shop.So fucking chio lorh.I totally didn't expect her to give me something so nice.Thanks alot,nat.Anyways,the theme for the countdown party is 'occupations'.So charlotte and i just like couldn't get our creative minds up so we were like:
Me and Charlotte looks at eachg other.
Me:OMG,what to wear?dress as a lawyer with that weird wig?RETARDED!!
Charlotte:Laughs...the thing is I also dunno lurh.
Me:DIAO!
silence for a while
Me:HAIYO!simple!wear school uniform lorh!My scool uniform also very chio what...
Charlotte:Good idea...OKay lorh
So we ended up using that RETARDED n uncreative idea of wearing our school unis to church countdown.LMAO.Okay,im becoming more and more retarded since the holidays started and i started stoning at home.So i went down and started playing volleyball with my dad.Played for quite long.Every time i receive a super hard spike or smash i would shout "PAIN AHHH!!!" like mad.Then practicing setting my finger was like hitting the ball "SSSSS!!pain lurh!!" but i just kept playing.See im getting RETARDED.Gees..

2008-12-24T19:47:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1lx_4HflcQ....

okay this is random but this son's quite nice.

2008-12-23T23:15:00.000-08:00

Its finally the eve of the season of giving and love.I just cant help but admit that it has been a really good year.There were the times where i was super stressed up and fucked up,there were the times,that i will always remember and cherish,with my friends,the crushes,the fights..Sigh..Memories..

2008-12-23T00:25:00.000-08:00

As the time of love,also known as christmas,approaches,i just cant help but realise how 2008 has been such an eventful year for me...I will never forget it..

2008-12-22T05:36:00.000-08:00

ZOMG i've been neglecting blogger for so long.and finally i've got into my dream school.Meaning im part of the cedar family and im proud to be part of it...Hahah..

run baby run..

2008-10-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

Teardrops on my guitar:
Drew looks at me i fake a smile so he wont see.
That i want,and im needing,
everything that we should be.
I'll bet she's beautiful,that girl he talks about
and she's got everthing that i have to live without.

Drew talks to me,
cant he tell that i cant breathe.
And there he goes so perfectly,
the kind of flawless i wish i could be.
He says he's so in love,
he's finally got it right,
i wonder if he knows he's all i think about at night.

(Chorous)
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.
He's the song,in the car,i keep singing dont know why i do.

Drew walks by me,
cant he tell that i cant breathe?
And there he goes so perfectly,
the kind of flawless i wish i could be.
She'd better hold him tight,
give him all her love.
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky coz'

(chorous)

So i drive home alone,
as i turn out the lights i'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
the only one who's got enough of me to break my heart.
He's the song in the car i keep singing dont know why i do.

Drew looks at me,
i fake a smile so he wont see.......

to ___,this is your favourite song so i decided to type out de lyrics 4 you.This is dedicated to you.Change all the "Drews" to your name and i mean the whole song:)I.L.Y 4eva..Enjoy!!

XOXO,
loves,you rock my life,
SIHUI:)

coz the possibility that u wud eva feel the same way abt me is too...

2008-10-09T01:38:00.000-07:00

today gt flu in hmt exam.Shit.im so gonna fail hmt.but srsly i dn tink i care.What matters is that my psle period is over.1 chapter down:)).but nxt is d results dae.more scary.but today went to d arcade w/irsalina n spent a damn $10++ there.okayhs...i noe i wasted my time n $ there but..yeahs.juz vvvvv fun.highly addictive:)).hope to party more w/frens.mb go to tm,vivo,downtowneast..anywhere frens.oh n to ___ HAPPY 14TH!!!finally u are 14:))called you tobt bad luck to uue.tdy gt exams.oh n good luckk 4 ur E.O.Ys.okays..only gt 1 hr tdy so..bye..slackern party gal is finally out!!~whoops of joy~..
xoxo
rocker chick,
SIHUI:)

theres a thief in the night to come n grab you...no way babe!!

2008-10-07T23:07:00.000-07:00

phew..psle is finally over..so hola to slacking goingcrazy shopping tabletennis tennis latenights chattingwif__:)) goingoutwiffrens wishing__happybdae celebratingmybdae partying latenightchatupsw/frens holidays hangingaroundw/frensb4/after/nosch....many more..hola slacker gal.ok eng:okokmath:SUCKEDBIGTIMEchinese:rockedtotallyscience:okokhmt:?!?!?!?haveb study 4 tomm okies need 2 study now!!bye..
xoxo
SIHUI:)

im leaving,then i can come back again...

2008-09-05T01:08:00.000-07:00

my X.O durian mooncake..

"boyboy"jun wei a.k.a monkey playing his horn..

on 4th sep after supp @ home..

camwhoring in front of my mirror..mirror mirror
on the wall...

acting cute!!

i believe i can fly....

this made me feel lk trash..i didn upload
photo of my dustbinnn...

"boyboy" making funny faces..vryvry funny,boy..

sigh..being his usual cute self...crazy monkey..

my snow skin green tea n pu'er tea(i think) mooncake..

okay update on my life...starting from
2 sep:
I think life was too boring.Cant remember a thing.God,am i catching up with my ancestors memory??I think so.LOL.
3 sep:
Became a slacker.Did little hmwk.okay,that was lk super boring..but i think i had a massive brain problem.Help!I think i got it from Danny..brrr...you're so gonna get it danny.What a joke.No way man.At night,mum didn allow me to eat chips.So i spent my night creeping around and stealing wasabi chips.Kinda weird huh?But trust me.Its super yummy..
to __:ps:didnt chat with you cuz you were nt free.Suffered a day worse than shit.Life's really boring without talking to you.)
4 sep:
Went for supp today.Got scolded as usual.Today was really really boring.Carol wasn't at sch neither was kim.They had no supp.As if the amount of hmwk is not enough already.Teacher gave us even more hmwk.On top pf my UNFINISHED work still got somemore now.I'm feeling murderous.After sch i went for band.Super fun.Got hom nothing better to do so i camwhored by myself.Bitch??.Whatever you say.I was lk sian like hell so i went out and ate my mooncake.Mum bought some mooncake durian and etcetc.see the labels on top.Quite nice.My mum tasted and was like hey,this is really nice.Whgen i ate the mooncakes second piece,i took one durian one and my mum was like dun eat too much.So much for a delicious mooncake.
(to __ps:Today you were not free again.My day was even worse than yesterday.I suffered.No on to talk to.My bez fren not there and you were not free.Dun worry,i understand.So sorry i exploded at you.I'm really sorry.I didn't mean it.)
5 sep:
Went for supp again.Got scolded again.Teacher was talking all a load of crappy fuck.Visited band again.Played with "boyboy" again.I love my juniors."boyboy" is my favourite!!I videoed him playing horn.I'll post it some other time.Mum asked me to buy food.So i bought it UNWILLINGLY.On the way home i saw a black sleeping soundly.It was really beautiful but i didn take pic cuz i dun wanna be extra.On the way i saw another bag blask cat licking it uh..ass hole..It looked like it was doing yoga.Haha.I didn wanna be extra again so i didn camwhor.Along the way,guesswat.I saw a funeral.Funeral,black cat??Creepy man.Okay the rest of the day was more or less the same old boring wan.
Post maybe in 1 or 2 days time.Mum chasing.
xoxo
SIHUI:)
(to__:im looking forward to chatting with you again soon.Life was like hell without you the comforting talks we have had.Baby,sorry again for saying what i said that day.Dun take it to heart.I hope you understand.Sorry.I heart you..)

to you....

2008-09-01T23:49:00.000-07:00

Some weird photo of gullet in digestive
system from science centre..im not a
geek...but....

Another pic of jing yi,ama and me..except jing's
face cut off..lol..

patrotic me...red person..

Me,being the crazy girl i always am...with my
totally messy bedroom as my background..

okay...this one is the most weird..i was slogging
my guts out doing hmwk..was extremely tired..

To the person whom this is dedicated to......
Baby,i love you.You rock my world.After waiting for you for quite awhile,after missing you 24/7,you are finally mine.Thank you for being my comforter n thanks for letting me find a friend in you.Just to let you know,u brighten up my day.Through our busy schedules,thank you for making time to chat with me.I will treasure every conversation we have.Recently,i have been reading your smses and practically melting...you should know why(:Sorry that at times i sound fierce><...You mean alot to me.I don't know what will happen to me without you.No amount of words can describe how i feel.Just wanna tell you that i heart you.I love you.
xoxo
SIHUI:)
(ps:i know i look kinda tood in the photos...comments only open to the person this entry is meant for.To_:sorry,i was lazy to upload photos.But i promise that will upload soon.Today dunno what happen to my com cant read my hp.anyways hope you enjoy reading this.Pls sms me once you read.I heart you:)... )

2008-09-01T00:05:00.000-07:00

Me,ama n jing yiiii!!!

We're LOONEYS..

Ama and i are weird peoples..
Went to science centre on fri.So WTF!!We had to go to science on teachers day 4 some learning journey?!?!?!if they are trying to make us pupils suffer they are definately succeding.Camwhored on de bus with ama and jing yi.they are my superrr crazy n funnnnnn galfriends.okayes,we were lk eating junk food n listenind to music on de bus.Then ama was lk,wa loa eh i nv bring my earplug!!I totally cracked up.asked lim min to send me sum chinese songs(ps:nt that i am that cheena..).Ok the time at the science centre was totally boring.God!i could have spazzed out.On de way back de trip was like the going journey except ama and i took jing yi's phone n started flipping through her photos.Found out that she gt lk tons of her own photo pics.we snorted through ama's extremely crushed up chips.
ok..i 4 got what happened 4 de past few days.Too boring probably..

On my way back after a gruelling day of supp on teachers day,i saw de long abandoned baby cot.nthn out of de ordinary.But juz peered into it anyway.Guess what i saw?Ths super cute cat!!ok mum chasing already!!bye!!
juz me acting crazily sickly cute.i know i suck!!BYE!!finally my blog is alive again!!

uh huh this my SHIT

2008-08-26T01:28:00.000-07:00

omfg my prelim marks sucked worse than shit..god..i suck.What a weirdo.almost failing my maths(68..><")was quite a biggie for a real nerd like mi.
Yeah right.
Sim Si Hui a nerd.That could seriously use some getting used to.
Help!!Im constipated!!

HoLiDaY

2007-03-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

This week was my holiday....tons of assesment and homework to do....but still i am having'good life'.....i went to the museum(ACM)...nice time i had there...but still E.T was as naughty as ever bit mummy and did not come back the whole day.....staying at home is a bore 4 me...but nevertheless i still managed to sneak out the whole day...call me if u have any questions about the cbox or are interested to get one....i also went to the fish farm to buy fishes...bought the same goldfishes.....bye...have to put date and time bcoz wrong...

CNY!

2007-02-19T20:57:00.000-08:00

Hi friends..today is the third day of CNY...boring..as had to stay home.....for the past few days,i have been very busy attending reunion dinners and going visiting(have one today)...and ooh...i have collected quite a sum of momey from my ang paos...i just watched the movie "just follow law" yesterday with my realatives...hope that u have had as much fun as i have had this CNY!